Unfortunately, this is a business. Your story might be amazing (please don't say this in your query letter—let us decide), but if it isn't well-written, then an agent or editor is not going to make it past paragraph one, let alone page one.
So. How can you tell if it is ready?
Well, for starters, have you read it through since you wrote it out? Have you edited it? Shaped it? Formed it?
There are a number of indications that a book needs editing.
1. Too-frequent use of adverbs.
2. Passive sentences
3. "Telling" versus "Showing" (and author interference)
4. "Weak" verbs
5. Sagging middle
6. Poor grammar
7. Spelling errors
8. "Samey" sentences
9. The Wrong Place (Backstory and Exposition)
10. Redundant sentences
Too-Frequent Use of Adverbs
What is an adverb? Adverbs are those little words tagged onto the ends of dialogues (mostly) that describe action.
For example:
Michael scowled angrily.
"I don't think so," Jane hissed flatly.
Derrick glanced sideways lazily.
How can you eliminate them? Well, through beats. By showing the action in between the dialogue. By showing us what your characters are doing—demonstrating anger, rather than "telling" anger. (This ties into "Telling" versus "Showing").
So:
Michael scowled and threw the paper cup at the wall. (In this case it would probably be enough to say he scowled. I'm pretty sure we all know what that means).
Jane rolled her eyes. "I don't think so."
Derrick's languid eyes slid sideways.
Passive Sentences
Passive sentences are those in which the object is not "active". For example:
The sidewalk was being washed by the endless rain.
Kelly was seen by Kyle, who decided to follow.
Becomes:
The endless rain washed the sidewalk.
Kyle spotted Kelly and chose to follow.
Key words to look for: being, was. Make your sentences active, not passive.
Telling versus Showing (and author interference)
This is the most common issues with aspiring authors. When you read a book, you want to:
1. Be free to make your own judgements about it
2. See what is happening
3. Believe what is going on. (Believability)
If Joe Blogs is having a fight with Mr. Menacing, I want to see it. I don't want to be told about it. I want the action to unfold in front of me, not be referenced by lengthy narration. Similarly, I don't want to be told by the narrator that something or someone is beautiful, clever, brilliant, evil. I want to see it demonstrated so that I can make up my own mind. It is perfectly fine for other characters to think Jane Doe is gorgeous, but don't tell me that in narration.
All of this ties into believability. Author interference is a big problem. When I can feel your hand moving the characters, rather than them acting from their own natures in an organic way, then you will lose me. If I feel that you are preaching at me by means of the narrative sections, I will stop reading.
No reader wants to be manipulated this way. So make sure that your novel shows what is going on, lets the reader make up their own minds, and that your characters make their own choices, not yours. Don't let yourself be visible to the reader.
Weak Verbs
What are weak verbs? Key indicator: "ing" verbs. Any verb ending in "ing" (laughing, crying, playing).
So:
Rachel was running down the hall (this sentence is also passive)
Becomes:
Rachel ran down the hall.
The Sagging Middle
Even a writer who has done everything right, may not be ready. Beware of the sagging middle. This is when a novel is perfect, but there is an issue with pacing, usually in Act 2 (the middle of the book). Don't lose focus on your plot, don't forget about the stakes—or to raise them—don't let the story meander. Reign it in, keep the focus.
Poor Grammar and Spelling Mistakes
This one seems obvious, doesn't it? Well, you'd be surprised. Spelling and grammar issues are very common in the manuscripts we see. Once you are sure you are done, have a careful read through the book. Pay attention to each sentence—read it aloud. You will find mistakes. Please fix them—the editor's eye is sharp. And after reading 20 manuscripts in a day, one careless mistake might be enough to blow it.
Samey Sentences
This is exactly what it sounds like. Sentences that have the same length, same structure, same rhythm. For example:
Rachel was certain about it. There could be no doubt. There had been someone there. Someone in the room, with her. It was all she thought about. All she could think about. When would it be over? When would she be free? Free from the person in the room? She looked at the clock. Time seemed to pull slower. Her breath caught in her throat. She couldn't breathe. He throat closed. She needed a drink.
Can you see how tedious this becomes? Vary it up. Elongate sentences by eliminating periods and make use of the comma. Make sure you don't get trapped in a samey rhythm.
The Wrong Place
Make sure that your novel starts in the right place. Right before the inciting incident. If your book is about a man who goes to Rome to kill the Pope, don't start by outlining the kind of life he had. Start with the murder and go from there. If you find yourself saying "the book only really gets started at chapter 8" then it means you have seven useless chapters before it.
Cut it.
Redundant Sentences
Many times when I begin reading a manuscript, I'm beset with lengthy exposition that is not necessary. More often, sentences are merely a repeat of the one that came before it. Let's use the previous example to illustrate, but let's highlight the redundant sentences:
Rachel was certain about it. There could be no doubt. There had been someone there. Someone in the room, with her. It was all she thought about. All she could think about. When would it be over? When would she be free? Free from the person in the room? She looked at the clock. Time seemed to pull slower. Her breath caught in her throat. She couldn't breathe. He throat closed. She needed a drink.
Becomes:
Rachel was certain about it. There had been someone there. It was all she thought about. When would it be over? When would she be free? She looked at the clock. Time seemed to pull slower. Her breath caught in her throat. She needed a drink.
Even this can be cut down:
Rachel was certain; someone had been there. When would this be over? Time seemed to pull slower as she glanced at the clock. He breath caught; she needed a drink.
So make sure that every single word in your manuscript is advancing the story—that every single word is necessary. If it isn't, cut it. If you can say something with fewer words, it's usually better to do that. Delete all redundant sentences, and you might find yourself with a manuscript half the length you thought it would be.
Good luck to all of you in your journeys to publication. Remember, you get one shot per editor/agent per novel. Make the most of it.
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